My cyclist friend

[Mike Sellmeyer 15]

Not sure if anyone else has had an issue like this one.  

Was out riding today on the lakefront trail in downtown chicago, just past soldier field, where it opens up and there are very few people and almost zero tourists.  I am cruising, come up on a cyclist,(in full spandex regalia) announce myself "on your left" then pass him.  The second he notices me he yells at me that I am not allowed on the trail as my wheel has a motor.  I say "thanks" and keep riding.  A light slows us both down and he passes me with a middle finger salute.  Slowed by another light he then sprays me with his water bottle.  I started to educate him on the legalities of the trail... he then starts yelling and cursing.  

This is where I have a 5 sec moment of reflection.  Should I just ride away or make his day a little worse.  

 

What would you do? I know what i did

[RetroThruster 365]

Open a can of whoop-a$$!!  No one is going to curse me if I'm not breaking any rules. 

[Rywokast 2,282]

put a stick in his spokes?

[Hunka Hunka Burning Love 11,478]

  Forgive them, Michael, as he did not know what he was doing.  As EUC brethren, we shall endeavour to forgive those who trespass against us.  Don't let them lead you into the temptation of retribution, but try to deliver them from evil.

Or Jesus, I guess you could try an EUC pit maneuver.    Wonder if that would theoretically work on a bike?  Make sure you get it on video if it works.  It's all about the clicks!

[LanghamP 3,513]

The MALM (the middle aged Lycra man) is best avoided. Don't engage and never announce you're passing them. Pass quickly and be done.

Trying to talk to people  in order them to change their mind is impossible. I've even had the bylaw stating EUCs are allowed on a trail read aloud by a MALM and he dismissed it!

Hopeless. Just run away, don't engage.

[Rywokast 2,282]

1 minute ago, LanghamP said:

The MALM (the middle aged Lycra man) is best avoided. Don't engage and never announce you're passing them. Pass quickly and be done.

Trying to talk to people  in order them to change their mind is impossible. I've even had the bylaw stating EUCs are allowed on a trail read aloud by a MALM and he dismissed it!

Hopeless. Just run away, don't engage.

lmfao MALM.. love it,, theyre everywhere!!

[Singletrack 13]

I think I know that guy.  He also rides in Colorado   I'm always polite to them but otherwise try and avoid them.

[null 1,426]

The same people are the same in France too. 

[MrRobot 154]

These are the joys of Chicago cyclists  

 

I just smoke them and they can't keep up but I've had them get salty with me too.  Never had them try to pour water on me, what'd you end up doing?

[Seba 5,363]

2 hours ago, Mimolette said:

The same people are the same in France too. 

They are everywhere. It's not a nation-specific phenomenon

[paulz 106]

I act as if I think the person is greeting me kindly or acting in a friendly manner.  I respond back in a friendly way with  a wave or smile.    The goal is to make the aggressor think -that you think- that he was being friendly.   Nothing will make them angrier then if they think that not only did their insult not land, it had the opposite intended effect.  

If you must  engage in conversation, try responding with a confusing, yet amicable non-sequitur like:  "Thank you, it is fun!"  or perhaps, "maybe another 2 or three miles".  Speak in a very friendly manner, but start talking before they stop talking,  If they start talking again, make it seem as if you did not realize that they are talking by looking away, or even just riding away.  They should feel frustrated that they were entirely unsuccessful in communicating they'll spend the rest of the day replaying the incident over and over again in their head.  

 

[Xoltri 321]

18 hours ago, LanghamP said:

The MALM (the middle aged Lycra man) is best avoided.

I know it as a MAMIL.  Middle Aged Man In Lycra.

[LanghamP 3,513]

54 minutes ago, paulz said:

Nothing will make them angrier then if they think that not only did their insult not land, it had the opposite intended effect.  

Passive aggressive responses merely infuriates the MALM. Continued responses would infuriate the MALM enough that he gets off his bicycle and hobbles towards you on his clipless shoes.

This could end very badly, because a MALM on pavement is of no danger, but the slightest shove will send him to the ground. Don't be that asshole.

[Issah 56]

They're the same in Norway. Personally never been cursed out, but they ride like they're the most important people in the world and often don't obey traffic laws. 
 

[wheelr 187]

This attitude will only change when the "bike" lane gets a new name and a new symbol, until then, they will always feel entitled to it.

 

[Daley1 295]

A simple headkick should suffice to realign some of the loose neurons in his undersized cranium followed by pointing and laughing at his girly bike pants and the size of his inadequate wedding tackle.!

[prasket 312]

Same shit in Seattle. Its getting pretty fucking annoying as well. 
 

I have thought about carrying an air-horn to just point at blow at them when they start in. Damn annoying ass cyclists.  

[AtlasP 1,566]

Get a body camera or even just something that looks like one clipped onto your body/bag-strap. And if someone goes off-hinge like that, point to it and tell them you're recording them--especially if the case of assault like that I'd point to it and say "that's assault and you're being recorded". (Or even without a dedicated camera, in a pinch you can pull out your phone and hold it up and achieve the same effect.)

Edited September 28, 2019 by AtlasP

[Mike Sellmeyer 15]

Here is the end of this story.  As I took my helmet off and had every intention of hitting him in the face with it... I took 5 sec to reflect on how injured he would become especially if it ended in a fight.  So I dialed back my rage, but wanted to make sure he knew how disappointed in him I was.  So I proceeded to intermittently honk the horn on my KS18xl over and over again for the next 6 miles, ruining his ride or at least that 30min of it.  It defiantly got under his skin, I could see how agitated he was getting.  So I guess I won.   

[chrisjunlee 1,202]

On 9/26/2019 at 1:18 PM, Mike Sellmeyer said:

Not sure if anyone else has had an issue like this one.  

Was out riding today on the lakefront trail in downtown chicago, just past soldier field, where it opens up and there are very few people and almost zero tourists.  I am cruising, come up on a cyclist,(in full spandex regalia) announce myself "on your left" then pass him.  The second he notices me he yells at me that I am not allowed on the trail as my wheel has a motor.  I say "thanks" and keep riding.  A light slows us both down and he passes me with a middle finger salute.  Slowed by another light he then sprays me with his water bottle.  I started to educate him on the legalities of the trail... he then starts yelling and cursing.  

This is where I have a 5 sec moment of reflection.  Should I just ride away or make his day a little worse.  

What would you do? I know what i did

Pepper spray and let the police do the education.

[chrisjunlee 1,202]

6 hours ago, prasket said:

Same shit in Seattle. Its getting pretty fucking annoying as well. 
 

I have thought about carrying an air-horn to just point at blow at them when they start in. Damn annoying ass cyclists.  

I haven't been harassed since I started riding faster. It comes down to superiority complex to these people - they're looking for something to beat on. That's all it is, you can't rationalize with them. 

[Mimetic Polyalloy 79]

Deep in the MALM´s mind they recognize riding a 18th century technology when 21st tech is passing by them. I think it is most time reason for hazzle like that.

[Psices 19]

On 9/28/2019 at 3:23 AM, Daley1 said:

A simple headkick should suffice to realign some of the loose neurons in his undersized cranium followed by pointing and laughing at his girly bike pants and the size of his inadequate wedding tackle.!

 

[LanghamP 3,513]

To be fair most MALMs are perfectly ok, while the few MALMs acting like monsters on their bicycle also act like monsters while in their cars.

Personally, I wouldn't engage in confrontation because the only way you win is if you force the other guy to disengage. What if he doesn't, and you also don't? Then a physical fight occurs, and that's something you could lose mildly (say a black eye) or lose terribly (say he stabs or shoots you) or lose moderately (you stab or shoot him, with legal consequences). To be fair I've engaged quite negatively in the past. And thinking of the consequences, I'm just being stupid. Stupid is understanding the negative outcome but doing it anyway, and so that's definitely stupid.

That being said, I do often carry pepper spray; I do not engage even to say "on your left", apologize without emotion ("my apologies"-- keep it brief), go another way, but if none of that works then spray them down without hesitation then run away.

Ultimately, you want to survive intact, then go home to have sex with your wife/girlfriend.

Mods: (Really?! Edited the following part out...)

Edited September 30, 2019 by meepmeepmayer
...

[yourtoys7 1,130]

I have NOT been harassed at all, Cursing (im not sure how i would reply), but water at me, I would have covered him with water/ coffee/ pop what ever I had, thats crossing the line period.