Andy_T Posted December 7, 2015 Share Posted December 7, 2015 I noticed that this forum does not seem to have a jokes thread yet... So here we go ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bush Posted December 7, 2015 Share Posted December 7, 2015 It's so cold~I have never seen it before Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShoopkoTube Posted December 7, 2015 Share Posted December 7, 2015 It's not a written joke but you can maybe cheer up with this prank on my girl! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jCCjXiwAnrc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chrisxr2 Posted December 17, 2015 Share Posted December 17, 2015 Going to the expense of buying the scooter it's quite a step just to play a trick on a girl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve454 Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 Tourist in Africa sees a lion. He say's here, kitty kitty. His wife collects on the insurance. "crickets chirping" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve454 Posted January 13, 2017 Share Posted January 13, 2017 "Today someone came to my door asking for a donation to build a swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve454 Posted January 13, 2017 Share Posted January 13, 2017 "My wife and I were happy for 23 years. Then we met" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rehab1 Posted January 13, 2017 Share Posted January 13, 2017 2 hours ago, steve454 said: "My wife and I were happy for 23 years. Then we met" Ah, you met my wife Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kroy Posted January 13, 2017 Share Posted January 13, 2017 This sketch came into my mind earlier so I had to watch it again! #genius Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve454 Posted January 14, 2017 Share Posted January 14, 2017 When women wear a bikini they reveal 90% of their body. Men are so polite they only look at the covered parts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rehab1 Posted January 14, 2017 Share Posted January 14, 2017 53 minutes ago, steve454 said: When women wear a bikini they reveal 90% of their body. Men are so polite they only look at the covered parts. Adolescent boys...not so polite. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve454 Posted January 15, 2017 Share Posted January 15, 2017 Chuck Norris went skydiving and his parachute didn't open. He went back to the store the next day to claim a refund. Chuck Norris threw a hand grenade and killed 50 people. Then the grenade went off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve454 Posted January 15, 2017 Share Posted January 15, 2017 A man is being arrested by a female police officer. She tells him "anything you say can and will be held against you" The man says" Boobs!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jurgen Posted January 15, 2017 Share Posted January 15, 2017 How Long is a Chinese EUC engineer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve454 Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 Jack and Jill went up the hill, each with a buck and a quarter. Jill came down with two-fifty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vik's Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach him how to fish and you get rid of him all weekend When i die, I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and shouting like his passengers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve454 Posted January 20, 2017 Share Posted January 20, 2017 "Come and listen to a story about a man named Jed, a poor mountaineer barely kept his family fed, and then one day he was shootin' at some food, and up through the ground came a bubblin crude. Oil, that is, Texas tea. Well, the next thing you know ole Jed's a millionare, his family said Californy is the place you oughta be, so they loaded up the truck and moved to Beverly,,,Hills that is, movie stars." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vik's Posted January 20, 2017 Share Posted January 20, 2017 5 hours ago, steve454 said: "Come and listen to a story about a man named Jed, a poor mountaineer barely kept his family fed, and then one day he was shootin' at some food, and up through the ground came a bubblin crude. Oil, that is, Texas tea. Well, the next thing you know ole Jed's a millionare, his family said Californy is the place you oughta be, so they loaded up the truck and moved to Beverly,,,Hills that is, movie stars." Beverly Hillbillies Theme! How 'bout the missing part: Well now it's time to say goodbye to Jed and all his kin They would like to thank you folks for kindly dropping in You're all invited back again to this locality To have a heaping helping of their hospitality (Beverly Hillbillies, that's what they call 'em now, Nice folks Y'all come back now, ya hear?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vik's Posted January 20, 2017 Share Posted January 20, 2017 Edited. Please accept my apologies. I see that one being inappropriate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve454 Posted January 20, 2017 Share Posted January 20, 2017 15 hours ago, Vik's said: Beverly Hillbillies Theme! Yes! Him: "Green Acres is the place to be, farming is the life for me, land spreading out so far and wide, keep Manhattan just give that countryside." Her: New York is where I'd rather stay, I get allergic smelling hay, darling I love you just give me Park Avenue." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve454 Posted January 20, 2017 Share Posted January 20, 2017 "Tom Slick. Tom Slick, in the Thunderbolt Greaseslapper once he's on your trail, he won't quit because you know there's no such word as fail for Tom Slick. What did the triangle say to the circle? "Your pointless" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elizabeth Daggett Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vik's Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 Real men don't take backups, but they cry a lot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve454 Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 On 1/23/2017 at 4:50 AM, Vik's said: Real men don't take backups, but they cry a lot I bought a stereo, sounds like crap. It had the diamond needle, so i searched around and bought a moon rock needle, cost me 4 million bucks. Now it sounds okay for a car stereo, wouldn't want it in my house. Steve Martin, comedy is not pretty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vik's Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bike and a well dressed man on a unicycle? Attire. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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